Is it ‘enough’?

After my first week as a PhD candidate I have one main, completely overwhelming, feeling. It is an uncertainty I have never felt before. It is possible that I have never felt this before because I came straight from undergraduate honours. Whilst undertaking my honours, I did feel a sense of urgency. But I never stressed if I didn’t think I hadn’t read ‘enough’.

That is this weeks struggle. The idea of how much work a day is ‘enough’. What constitutes good progress? How much should I be writing? How much should I be reading? How many workshops should I attend? Have I wasted my week?

I have the feeling that I will never know when ‘enough’ is. I wish I could say that I was comforted by this prospect. If anyone is reading I would love to know how you judge ‘enough’.

The beginning

Tomorrow I begin my candidacy and I am, understandably, nervous.  I have decided to blog as I would like a record of my thoughts and my journey through the PhD. This seems to be an efficient way to practice writing and to cure writer’s block.

So where to begin? After extensive googling, I have some initial thoughts, all of which seem to follow the same pattern:

  1. I have no idea what I am doing
  2. Okay, I’ll make a plan so that I feel more organised
  3. Google is no help, I have no idea what I am doing

As you can see, I currently am feeling a bit lost. My initial research proposal was written 11 months ago. Not only do I feel disconnected from my own project, but I feel disconnected and unsure of the whole process. I know that this feeling is only temporary, and soon I will be deeply immersed in the research and my topic.